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In Hope and Fear

by VIC BONDI

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1.
Like Glass 04:16
I wouldn't break like glass I wouldn't break like glass Brass is ringing overhead I can't hear my thoughts Midnight flash illuminate What we haven't lost Don't turn away I wouldn't wait too long I wouldn't wait too long What passes for a celebration seems so deeply sad And we are moved past shattered faith in everything we had But don't turn away Don't turn away I wouldn't break like glass I wouldn't break like glass At the worst in this small room We come to understand Given everything that happened it wasn't all so bad But don't turn away
2.
Unaware of your clear death I left you in the alley Marked in leaves and flowers by the foundry Public property for statisticians' ledgers I figure that's the least you'd do for me You kept alive that way Your head above the gutter marked you on those sunny days for almost sainthood In the end, of course You ended the same way as any other link in Chains of Graves And the ghost of you is not the same as memory one is hunted and the other surely haunted With the passing of the years you fade away But I'm never really certain you were there in the first place And I guess that's just about what you expected And you figured you would save us all the trouble In the end, of course You ended the same way As any other link in Chains of Graves
3.
Blue Tears 03:07
Bitter wind chip away I'll face you Burning raw gentle hate harm and rage fades away Shatter man stone We make It all to buy a long lonely day I'll cry blue tears In a word all we say faith blinds you nothing gets in the way straight lines we made untrue and I'm sure all we pray our lives to There's nothing more blue than gray I'll cry blue tears Acid rain will fill my eyes and my burning throat will dry Brittle pain rips and breaks We'll rise to a point that's too red and gray read blue moon is true hearts and minds stripped too bare and naked hope is due I'll cry blue tears Acid rain will fill my eyes and my burning throat will dry
4.
Wait So Long 03:16
Hauntings But the present Betrays ghosts Mirrors turn upon their hosts Wait so long Echoes but remembrance fades fast The future feeds upon the past Wait so long Deliverance but miracles seem slight Curses linger on at night I swear I hear them all And I remember every sound A mockery of every day Nothing will come to pass The joke's on me You have the last laugh Wait so long
5.
Miracle Sky 02:38
Miracle Sky My grandfather's eyes Thought he was giant-sized Told me how he won the war Miracle Sky West Texas night There by my father's side Told me how he won the war Miracle Sky
6.
At this juncture what we call foresight The ability to see behind you right These Betrayed Times What's this child freight trapped inside our heads? When everyday is haunted by the rest These Betrayed Times In Betrayed Times These Betrayed Times Days of broken mirrors We'll blame it all on luck There's there's not enough to call it fate What we call appearance stabs for its own sake Wisdom with steel teeth a trap which seizes life and all our bravery dangles thin by a lifeline In these great times These Betrayed Times We all know our lives are not our own Like stones thrown into lakes We skip or sink depending on our weight And we find our lives in quiet signs Cold rain on icy nights In moments that we can't describe with a few lines. These Betrayed Times
7.
Endless Rage 04:03
Searching for a place again A refuge filled with ordinary pain and its a shame you second guess the beauty of your first thought was its pain A compromise with ecstasy you feel the furies banging at your door bolt and lock the shutter shut burn your refuge down to barren floor Addict of your own regrets the years of memories as opiates blessed junk sincerity the honesty of double-dealing evermore so true to your own words victim of your own forgotten days of endless rage Looking for a second chance to all the masochism in your genes encoded hate and destiny exude annihilation in your dreams You live your days in fear suspect You live your nights regretting what you've seen But how can you get clemency when you yourself are your worst enemy? Addict of your own regrets the years of memories as opiates blessed junk sincerity the honesty of double-dealing evermore so true to your own words victim of your own forgotten days of endless rage
8.
New souls on ice register the oppressions of our time Felt and heard the old words find new lifelines in our eyes The old curse narrow verse Malcolm X'd upon our minds We'll rehearse the new world we invent it wrong or right New words and days we erase all the pain out of our past We begin We transcend We're uncertain it will last But we try We arrive at an understanding that we forgive and forgiven each day's better than the rest In Hope and Fear We'll find Some raw anger blind Oh Peace is near in Hope and Fear New hope and fear a new decade another century nears We await a new stamp A new King to bury damp Black and White Drowned in blood a new gravestone that's drawn fair Standard arts in our hearts The sums are greater than their parts In Hope and Fear We'll find Some raw anger blind Oh Peace is near In Hope and Fear

about

In the fall of 1985 I recorded an acoustic record at Inner Ear Studios in Alexandria that was released in 1987 on Wishing Well Records as The Ghost Dances. It was probably the first acoustic record released by someone from the American hardcore scene, and even today has a some ardent fans (you can buy it on iTunes). I followed it up with another acoustic record that I recorded in Beverley Mass in 1987 that I called "In Hope and Fear." It was never released, so I am putting it up on Bandcamp, thirty five years after it was recorded. It was never really mixed, either, so these are more or less the rough mixes. This is the best quality of this recording I have--ported from a cassette that has long since rotted away. Two of the tracks were unsalvageable from the original ten.

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released April 10, 2022

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VIC BONDI Seattle, Washington

I've been playing music for forty years--since the beginnings of the American hardcore punk movement in the 1980s. This band camp site is where I make a variety of my non-band project experiments available--solo tracks; covers; movie soundtracks, etc. Most of it is not hardcore. For that, see the links below. ... more

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